This weekend

I was going to do a blog at the weekend, and it was going to be an exciting one because I was going to do one that was JOINT WITH PAUL. Yes that is right I was going to do one joint with Paul because he was visiting at the weekend. We were going to blog about some fun things we did. We didn't actually get round to it though. We did write some captions to some photos on the book of face though, so if you want some of the joint Armstrong writings then look at those with your eyes. We did do some fun things. Like going to the cinema and looking at a film. Like visiting my friends and being fed alcohol. Like having a big fry up. Like going to watch some football. Like watching a film. Like playing Simpsons Uno. Like doing a look at MOTD. Like having porridge. Like going to church. Like going to a yummy Chinese buffet. Like playing hide and seek. Like doing a mini service. There we go, now I have written down a lot of the things we did we won't forget them and maybe will write a bit more about them. But even if we don't, then you still know all of the fun things we did at the weekend when Paul visited. I think that now you are probably really jealous and wish you were there as well, coz you can see that we really did some fun things.

Warning

Only ever watch this if you have seen the Be Kind Rewind movie film

If you have never seen it but would one day like to then do not even watch this.

Tis the season

for scrunching hands inside sleeves. Today it is blooming cold. The kind of cold that even thermals cannot warm you through. As I wandered into work today I had my hands scrunched up inside my mittens with no tops, inside my coat. I realised as I was walking that most other people also had their hands scrunched up inside their sleeves. It was like a universal unspoken acknowledgment of how blooming cold it is. We had a smattering of snow overnight. I am hoping that what with it being so very cold and all that we might get some more snow so that being so jolly cold is worth it in the end.

Boring

This week (well from mon-thur) has potential to be quite dull because for us here in the cold land of Derbyshire it is half term. I don't get school holidays (to the shock of most of the people in our supporting churches), which means I am in the office this week. I have a bit of planning to do, but probably not a whole weeks work. So what fun things can I do that still make it look like I'm working?

Things will get more exciting on Friday beacuse the Paul piece arrives on Friday for a weekend of fun, football and .

Two things

1. Following on from the laminator breakage. We now have a new laminator, it works brilliantly and I love it (as much as one would love an inanimate object that is).

2. It is looking like we have the right weather conditions for it too snow. If it did it would come just in time for our half term. Woohoo!!

Today

Today the laminator broke,
Just when I needed it the most.
Why do things go and do that,
I just don't understand,
why the thing that need most of all,
goes and crumbles in your hand.

Today I needed something,
and it hadn't yet been done.
Why is it that some people think
That I need this done by then
means 'do it when you feel like it'
not 'get this done by ten.'

Today I watched a well poor film,
it promised to be good.
Why is that the film reviews
don't match just what I see,
A lot of my time could be saved
If people got things right for me.

Today I had to play part,
It was a first for me.
Why is that this particular one
made me shake like never before,
Throughout the nerves I could lose
Yet I finished wanting more.

Today I got some feedback
on a piece of work I'd done.
Why is that when people say nice things,
and the things are aimed at me,
They make me squirm and wriggle,
I cannot take them gracefully.

Today I realised anew,
That me is a good place to be.
Why can't I know this all time,
Why does it not always feel true,
Why can't I forever love the skin I'm in,
Why do I let myself feel blue.

Today the sun shone down on me
And brightened up my life.
Amidst the things that weren't so good,
the trouble and the strife,
I knew that life was not so bad,
I knew my friends loved me.
I knew that I would always live
And love them gratefully.

Here is a silly thing I did

Today I cooked some sausage rolls ready for my lunch tomorrow. I got them out of the oven, put them on top of the oven, got my spatular, loosened them and left them to cool. All week I have been craving egg mayo. I decided that a great accompnaint to my sausages rolls would be an egg mayo sandwich. I put the egg in some water in a pan, put it on the cooker, turn the hob plate thingy on, walk out of the kitchen, shut the door (it's a very cold room so I try to keep the cold in it).

I went to go and do some faffing about on my puter box. After a while I realise there is a strange smell coming from the kitchen, but put it down to the fact that the pan with the egg in is on a hob platey thing that is larger than the pan, and the smell must be whatever crud is on the hob platey thing burning off.

When I've done on the puter box, I go into the kitchen to check on the progress of the boiling egg. As I walk into the kitchen I realise that something is not right. I come to this realisation by the fact that my kitchen is filled with smoke, and that it smells quite awful. I go to the cooker to see what is up. The tray with the sausage rolls on is smoking yay verily. The spatular that was sat on the tray is exceptionally melted, and somking more than the tray. The sausage rolls are blackening from the bottom up. It turns out that what I did was not turn on the hob platey thing under the egg in water in a pan, but actually turn on the hob platey thing that the tray with sausages rolls for tomorrows lunch and the spatular was sat on.

This was a silly thing I did.

Ha ha

First Particle: Why are you crying?
Second Particle: I've lost an electron.
First Particle: Are you sure?
Second Particle: Yes, I'm positive.

Convention Crashers

If you have 4od, and you haven't seen any of Justin Lee Collins Convention Crashers series, I recommend you go watch some. There are three programs in the series, JLC learns how to be a magician, a ventriloquist and a clown. All really rather funny.